I Made It To The List

‘Are you sure you understand?’ She demanded, looking me dead in the eye. She has always known what she wants. We are both sailing in the same boat, except I never wanted to be in this boat.
‘Yes’, I said, wrapping my hair in a tight bun. I knew this was never something I had aspired to do, but not everybody receives what they dream of. I had accepted my life the way it was, and I was ready for it.
‘Don’t make any errors; we do not want to get caught. Just ask him to give you the stuff and be out. Are we clear?’ She asked me, almost whispering.

Both of us stared through the car windshield, then I spoke.

‘As water’, I nodded and turned around. I picked up the keys, sighed, and made my way out of the car.
Running, I entered and yelled – ‘GIVE IT TO ME’
It is then that I realized that I could not just waltz into a supermarket and demand for things.

Apparently, we have to find them for ourselves. That is when the real mission began. ‘What are artichokes even?’ I thought to myself.

 

A Cuddle For Your Thoughts

All the papers had been filed, the documents loaded, and the coffee machine turned off. I could finally go home.

I clicked my phone open to see if I had gotten any calls. I knew he would be waiting for me. Tucked under the sheets with open arms – it was the perfect way to end the day. I just wanted to stare at him and slowly fall asleep with my head on his chest.

The moment I got home, I yelled out his name as I changed into my pyjamas. I slid under the bed sheets and slapped my hand across the bed to grab on to him and hug tight.

My fingers swept the sheets, but couldn’t find him. I got up with a jerk. Where did he go?

I got off the bed and looked around.

Knocking on the bathroom door and making my way into the living room. I yelled out his name and went to the balcony, the kitchen, everywhere. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t lose him, there was no way.

While I sat on my sofa lost in thought, I felt him, near my hand. There he was under the sofa pillow – my stuffed build-a-bear.

Pulling the Thread

‘Hey’, my phone blinked.
‘I’d love if you wear that tonight. I know you are a little afraid, but you will have a good time if you know what I mean.’
I knew this night was going to come soon. We had become very close in the past three months.
I also knew that I owed him a lot, everything, perhaps. I picked up my pink crocheted purse and stuffed it in my breast pocket. I was apprehensive because I did not think that I could pull it off.
Staring at my wardrobe, I took it out and laid it on my bed.
I was nervous and excited at the same time. I was not sure if I was looking forward to it.
Feeling gutted, I stared at the dress and formed knots in my tummy. I breathed heavily then decided to just be confident and walk with it.
It was 9:00 pm. I put on the dress and left the house. I could feel people staring. I should have taken a coat with me. Confidence is key, I told myself, and I needed the money.
I finally reached the restaurant and stood outside with the wind slowly setting my hair.
Holding pamphlets in my hand, and making sure the hood does not blind me, I strutted around in my chicken onesie attracting a rather large crowd.
Exhausted, I glanced at the dreaded text again.
‘Yes, boss’, I replied.

Therapy of Sorts

Another night, another heart break – it felt like a recurring situation that had gotten me nowhere so far.
Like the amazing friends that they were, they stood firm through it all and came to me with our ritualistic solution.
“It’s time”, Jo said. I nodded.
Anna got the car keys, while the rest dressed me up. It was tough to get back outside and face it but, it was time to be happy again, or at least pretend to be.
Taking my wallet, my phone, my keys, and an extra lip colour just in case, we got into the car and off we drove. We played songs in the car and made our best attempt to karaoke an opera.
Finally, I could see it. It was buzzing; we rushed out of the car and made our way in. The lights, the smell, the people, I could already feel myself getting alright again. I took to the floor as I heard the music.
We sat around a table while my friend brought a bunch of drinks to the table. It had been so long, I was thrilled. I could feel the drinks hit me and relieve me almost instantly. I felt happy, hyper even. We sang along and clicked photos as we munched on the bits and I tried to keep my lip colour in place.
I loved it!
Finally, when it had gotten late enough, we collected our things and staggered and stuttered across the room. There came a voice behind us – “Thank you for coming!”
We looked back at our table which was lined with smoothies and empty burger boxes, and yelled back – “Have a good night!”
McDonald’s had always proven to be the best therapy.

 

The Saga

 

He was there, again.

Following me everywhere I went. There was no one I could tell since they would not believe me. I could feel his shadows creep around me as I would sleep or wake up. He was messing with my head; I kept crying myself to sleep every night.

I thought of reporting him. But what was I supposed to say? I only THOUGHT that he was there, what if it were all but a coincidence?

Paranoia hit me like a storm.

I was wary and short of breath most of the times. I did not know what to do so I would act cold and distant.

Everyone around me was worried. They thought they could report him on my behalf, but I was going crazy. They had nothing to hold against him.

Finally one day, I found myself in the office being questioned.

‘So tell me, who do you think he is? Is there someone you think you may have a problem with?’ I heard a sweet female voice.

‘Yes’, I quivered, ‘It is terrifying, especially now, when I have so many things to do – he just won’t go away!’ I exclaimed.

‘Is he an ex-boyfriend, dear?’ The psychiatrist asked.

‘No’, I sighed. It was stress.

A Love Like No Other`

“Good morning, beautiful”, I looked at her, sighing.

I wonder how I got so lucky to be able to wake up to her face every morning.

“Give me a second”, I said to her, “I will be right back”. I rushed to the kitchen to make me some coffee, and grab some breakfast.

I had a list of things planned for the day. I had to drive myself to work, and then join my friends for a dinner. I was up and about in no time.

Giving her a kiss goodbye, I left the house and went to the bakery where I worked. I started with the dough and hummed while I shuffled with the bowl. I was so in love, oh.

Sometimes I would turn around, and I would feel her by my side.

As the shop shut close, I changed into something decent and headed out to meet my friends, where it was only she who was waiting for me!

It was a date. We had the best conversation ever. We talked about work, and life, in general. We laughed so much, I could see people turning their heads (to report us, probably).

As I got up to escort her out, she had already gotten into a cab and I saw her pass me by through the window. What just happened? Why couldn’t she wait for me? Why did she run away like that?

Flushed with red, I got home and there she was – standing in front of me.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE TO YOU?” I lifted my fist and aimed it at her face.

Ashamed, I looked at my bloody fist and then at the broken face, the mirror had found someone new, someone shattered.

I finally removed my wallet and confronted the prescription that read ‘Diagnosed – Narcissistic Personality Disorder’.